For some reason, I've started going backwards in my life. There are things that I missed out on when I was younger, and I don't mean fun things like learning how to ride a bike or getting your first Nintendo. I mean things that you should do when growing up so that you don't have to face them when you're older.
Let me start with getting my licence. If you've read my older post called A Long Time Coming, you know that I'm working tirelessly to be able to drive a car one day. I have yet to get the road test done. It would have been much better for me to have started driving lessons at the age of 16, but I was dropped off in boarding school for my teenage life so the driving thing never came up.
The other really important thing I neglected to do was math. I've always struggled with that subject, and I passed grade 9 math (the second time around) by the skin of my teeth. Actually, I'm positive I failed it the second time but my math teacher Mr. MacDonald took pity on me and gave me a 64%. Since grade 9 math was a complete disaster I was only permitted to go into low grade 10 and 11 math. I took the art stream and I much preferred finger painting anyway. When would I ever need math?
Well, now that I'm in my late 20's and I do that 'pondering life' thing a lot, I've decided that being a vet would be splendid. What am I passionate about? Animals. I love them, I understand them and I want to know more about them. Apparently you need to be a superstar in the science and math world to even attempt vet school applications. I enrolled for grade 9 math with the Toronto District School Board at the beginning of October. Twice a week from 6 until 10pm, for 4 months.
A lot of free time would be taken up with this endeavour and my dog would probably resent me for the rest of my life but it had to be done. I had to face my math demons and conquer the fear of possibly being called upon in class and not knowing the answer. I was so nervous but excited to know that I would finally pass math with flying colours and not have to be ashamed that I don't really know my times tables anymore. Everyone would be in the same boat, right? I was sure that the other students would be people like myself looking to further their education. Turns out I was wrong about that and the whole experience was a massive disaster.
1) My teacher's name was Mr. I4rf??savx12387#$5, and he was from Sri Lanka. I couldn't understand him...could't even make out his name. I was more focused on trying to make out the words and numbers he was saying and I completely missed ALL of the math concepts.
2) When the principal came in to introduce herself and explain the school policy and rules, she stopped after the 'no hats' rule and looked at one of the young students. He was wearing a hat, and he was peeved. What followed was an 11 minute argument with him not wanting to take off his hat and her threatening to expell him. Really? Did we just waste 11 minutes on this? Where the hell am I?
3) My calculator stopped working mid-class.
4) At least 80% of the class was in the 17 year old range. I was mistaken when I believed most people would be in my age bracket. All of them were there because they had messed around in math the previous semester and now they were messing around in adult ed. Great. Chatter in the back of the class, giggles to my left, some kid sleeping to my right, and there I was squinting my eyes and straining my ears so much trying to discern what the heck the teacher was going on about. I got a beast of a headache as a result of over-squinting/straining.
5) I lost all motivation and hope for success. I never went back to night school and now I'm waiting for my math book in the mail after registering for grade 9 math online. It cost me an arm and a leg, but I would rather suffer from a financial amputation than have to go back to that classroom. If my child ever wants to be an artist, he/she will also be a math genius. Never will I make anyone go to math class as an adult because it's plain wretched.
The last thing I missed out on as a teen was getting my teeth fixed. I had a few retainers here and there, but I didn't wear them often enough so my parents just figured I didn't want to put the effort in to having perfect teeth. The last orthodontics step was skipped, and I never got braces. My teeth aren't horrifying, but they aren't straight either. January is around the corner, and that's when the braces are coming. I want straight teeth so now I have to pay for it and have the train tracks put on my face for 2 years. My roommate is getting braces at the same time as I am. We shall live in metal harmony, complaining together, cleaning our teeth together and cursing our youth together.
I'm doing everything backwards. When I complete these tasks I shall give myself a big pat on the back and throw a glorious coming of age party. I'll let you know how the next few years go.
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